Part of me thinks 30 days might be a little soon to be making definitive statements about "what I've learned" -- because I'm afraid there are probably more lessons lurking around the corner for Ms Sandberg. Grief can be sneaky like that. Perhaps she should have added a qualifier -- "(so far)"? But I have to admit, she does cover the bases very well here, and while our losses are very different, I found myself nodding over just about every sentence. I read one article that suggested Sandberg may ignite a public conversation about grief in the same way that "Lean In" got people talking about women and work-life balance. We can only hope...!
Women who find themselves living without the children they had planned for and dreamed about often talk about finding their "plan B." So I had to smile a little when I read the last few paragraphs:
I was talking to one of these friends about a father-child activity that Dave is not here to do. We came up with a plan to fill in for Dave. I cried to him, “But I want Dave. I want option A.” He put his arm around me and said, “Option A is not available. So let’s just kick the shit out of option B.”
Dave, to honor your memory and raise your children as they deserve to be raised, I promise to do all I can to kick the shit out of option B. And even though sheloshim has ended, I still mourn for option A. I will always mourn for option A.
I will always mourn for my option A too. I never was a great kicker, as my many school gym teachers and soccer teammates will affirm. ;) But I too will do my best to kick the shit out of my personal option B.